If someone hurts me, according to my step 4, my angry resentment of what they have said or done makes me ashamed. I also have other ways of reacting in an emotionally unhealthy way that my step 4 showed. In fact I think this pattern of interlinked negative emotions occurs simply because of inability to identify, label and share the simple fact that I have been upset  by what someone has said or acted towards me.

• I eventually accepted that the twelve steps are the spiritual tools that will help me to recover from this “hopeless condition of mind and body.” (BB There Is a Solution, p.20).
• In fact, studies have been done on twins to try to determine if there is a genetic predisposition for a substance use disorder, typically with mixed results.
• I would have found this threatening to my sense of self so I would have reacted via defense mechanisms.
• Whenever you find yourself feeling irritable discontent bored with your life or depressed it is likely that you may have skipped meditation or prayer.
• These are all parts of my emotionally entangled web that is spun when I react to some sense of rejection.

Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. We begin to obsess and buy the lie because we want to feel the ease and comfort of the first drink. We drink and set off the craving and the cycle of addiction starts all over again. Basically, the alcoholic, once they start they cannot control the amount they take. The 164 and More book is sold on this website at the Publisher List Price of $20.00 plus postage.

A Deep Look into the Spiritual Void

I have not been taught as a child or since to simply say I am upset. We are far from being Saints but have a solution Saints would approve and achieve a kind of transient sanctity in this 12 step solution of letting go and letting God. I also impressed upon him that mostly I can manage this emotional dysfunction but often I fail to and get into a resentful anger. I also impressed upon the newcomer that what the other guy was experiencing and was reacting is also how he, the newcomer, reacts and how I react too.

The practice of Christian Meditation offers a remedy to the spiritual malady. When we enter the silence with discipline and perseverance, we make space for  the living presence of God to heal us from the inside out. The great psychiatrist Carl Jung called this a ‘low level thirst for wholeness – for union with God’. In our addictions, we tried to quench our soul-thirst with fleeting pleasures. The pursuit of them dominated our lives, destroyed relationships, and caused greater desperation than we ever thought possible.

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I struggled with this myself in the early days of my recovery. It was one more thing that my disease used to separate me from other folks in the rooms of recovery, another way to feel unique. For many folks, including myself, ‘the spiritual’ aspects of recovery can be a challenge. We tend to show up with a truckload of old ideas in this area and a lot of us consider ourselves to be atheists.

The Big Book explains, “If, when you honestly want to, you find that you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably an alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.” We embark upon a journey of recovery that allows us to develop a deep spiritual connection. Through our spiritual connection, we finally are given the power to overcome the disease and live happy, joyous, and free lives in sobriety. 12 Step recovery focuses on a spiritual solution to the problem of addiction and alcoholism.

Heads or Tails: Why Does the Obsessive Nature of Some Seek the Dark?

Also we need to be aware what we project on to other alcoholics is the same thing as they project on to use and sometimes we project if back. I can manage my spiritual malady or emotional dysfunction, I have the tools to do so. If we practice virtues instead of defects then the brain changes for the better and we recover quicker. Our positive loving, healthy behaviours change us and our brains via neuroplasticity for the better. Either way, if he could perhaps of had the ability to say this is how exactly I am feeling he could have acted on this emotional information rather than reacted to it.

A.A.’s program of recovery is built on the simple foundation of one alcoholic sharing with another. It is emotionally healthy to live in the day … in the here and now. Professional therapists teach people to live in the present. https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/what-spiritual-malady-means/ AA encourages members to share their experience, strength and hope with other members. It is emotionally healthy to accept our past experiences, however painful, as past events and move on to a richer, more fulfilling future.

I want to find a Higher Power. How do I do this?

I have found this a fairly common trait among male alcoholics in recovery settings and meetings. For me we engage futilely and distressingly in resentment because we have an inability to process and control our emotions, they overwhelm us and we often react by people pleasing (shame) or react via various defense mechanisms (also shame based). Step 1 in the AA programme is “ We admitted we were powerless https://ecosoberhouse.com/ over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable”. It is emotionally healthy to surrender and accept things over which we have no control. “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference” is the Serenity Prayer used at every AA meeting. The Serenity Prayer is the greatest exercise in prioritisation.

Any quotations from sources other than the first edition of the Big Book are reprinted with permission. There are certain benefits that can be healthy when a person obsessively seeks development and self-improvement. The first of these is that individuals that are seeking to better themselves in one way or another are often eager to learn and thus open to the experience.